Free PDF Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date, by Rachel Greenwald
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You get that he’s just not that into you, but why?
What really happened when that cute guy never called you back after your date? Why didn’t that intriguing man you flirted with online or at the party ask you out? It’s an annoying mystery. One minute there was a potential romance happening, and the next? He vanished, inexplicably. If you knew why men reacted in these ways, you could do something about it next time when the right guy comes along.
So Rachel Greenwald did what you’re too embarrassed to do yourself. As a renowned dating coach with a Harvard MBA, she applied business savvy to the dating world by conducting in-depth "Exit Interviews" with 1,000 single men, asking them why they hadn’t called back after a date or online flirtation. By refusing to accept glib responses such as "There was just no chemistry," she extracted unabashedly honest and raw answers. It turns out that men leave women hanging for clear, consistent reasons. The Top Ten Date-Breakers–revealed here in Greenwald’s unique research–are the result of signals that women of all ages send unknowingly, but are easily fixed. Citing true anecdotes and case studies, this book examines the most frequent date-breakers that men confessed, and offers practical advice on how you can avoid them.
Greenwald’s goal isn’t for you to pretend to be someone you’re not, but rather to keep the ball in your court. By using her research results as a guide to tweak your comments and gestures, you’ll have more men asking to see you again. Then you can accept or decline their invitations: you’re doing the selecting–not them.
In today’s increasingly complex dating world, both online and offline, learning how to maximize your dates is essential. With a fresh and entertaining behind-the-scenes vantage point, Why He Didn’t Call You Back offers simple solutions that empower women to choose the men they really want to date.
- Sales Rank: #5798279 in Books
- Published on: 2009-04-07
- Released on: 2009-04-07
- Format: Bargain Price
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x 1.00" w x 5.80" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 304 pages
From Publishers Weekly
In this dating guide for women getting nowhere fast, professional matchmaker Greenwald takes the intriguing step of interviewing a thousand men who decided not to follow up on a first date. Unfortunately, that stab at quasi-scientific methodology doesn't turn up anything new-though you wouldn't suspect it to see the volume of Greenwald's text. To her credit, she doesn't advise readers to change who they are, but how they present themselves, emphasizing the importance of first impressions and refusing to heap blame on either men or women. Detailed descriptions and checklists will help readers determine what disagreeable stereotype you may projecting ("The Boss Lady," "The Bait & Switcher," "The Park Avenue Princess") and how to remedy it. Despite a direct voice and infectious confidence, Greenwald echoes much that's already been covered in countless other volumes-don't seem desperate, show genuine interest, don't bring up your ex-and often with more detail, examples, lists and subcategories than are necessary. Those who like their self-helps busy, or who are new to the genre, may find this book worthwhile, but in most ways it's the same story, different date.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
Cosmopolitan Magazine voted Why He Didn't Call You Back one of this summer's 4 Hottest Beach Books (2009)
“Rachel is my kind of gutsy girl: all the kick of cheddar on rye, minus any trace of baloney. Within two weeks of trying Rachel’s strategies, I . . . am now juggling so many suitors that I’ve started a ‘man-agement’ diary.”
—O, The Oprah Magazine
“Greenwald is the hottest thing to hit the dating scene since Sex and the City!”
—Observer (London)
“Advocating that you change his perception instead of your personality, Greenwald’s vast study and witty analysis of men’s behavior is nearly a science in its fine points, and truly a contemporary approach to the speedily evolving game of dating.... Loud and clear, Greenwald offers the no-frills, tough-love advice that every single woman doesn’t want – but often needs – to hear.”
—King Features (synd.)
“This book is brilliant! I really love Rachel Greenwald’s approach. This is a must-read guide to help single women find the right mate, even for women who have lots of guys pursuing them.”
—Tim Sullivan, former CEO, Match.com
“Greenwald . . . has become a national sensation. Her advice is uncommonly blunt.”
—San Jose Mercury News
“Dating diva Rachel Greenwald [delivers] an espresso shot of practical advice.”
—Rocky Mountain News
“Rachel Greenwald . . . has taught thousands of mature women how to meet Mr. Right.”
—People
“Rachel Greenwald is the Wife Maker.”
—Denver Post
“Rachel’s approach is clear, systematic, and motivating.”
—New York Daily News
About the Author
RACHEL GREENWALD is a professional dating coach, matchmaker, and the international bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35: Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School. She lives in Denver, Colorado, with her husband and three children.
Most helpful customer reviews
24 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
Says More About Modern Men - And It Isn't Good
By Loretta Dillon
I may be too old a dog to learn new tricks, and, frankly, I don't think they'd work anymore with my generation of men. We actually had to meet in person and use a phone back when we were courting. Now, with all the technology putting up barriers, and people meeting online, it's a different world. Ms. Greenwald's book is aimed more at younger women, and what she discovered in her "exit interviews" with men in that age group was not particularly flattering about modern men.
In general, youngish men (20s, 30s, early 40s) don't like "bossy" women. My advice? Grow a pair. It's your fault girls are bossy, because you won't make a decision. You're spoiled and lazy. I see it with my daughter's generation. Older men are much less turned off by a woman with an opinion or who enjoys making plans. They're used to it.
As other reviewers have noted, it's impossible to know your date's "deal breakers" at first, and if something you do is a turn off, consider it a blessing. Perhaps he'll grow out of it, or have a few life experiences that transform his narrow mind; meanwhile, move on. Keep your own standards, and don't try to bend yourself like a pretzel to please some irrational guy. The men Greenwald interviewed were ridiculous. If I had read this book 20 years ago, I'd never dare go out on a date.
I have found, through unscientific research and hard knocks, what men want from a potential love partner and what turns them off. Most of the mistakes girls make when they are younger than 40 are made because they are emotional and impatient. Combine that with the terrible advice young men read from "PUA" sites and television/movies and you have the perfect storm of bad relationships.
Here's what works for a healthy, normal guy (i.e., if he's mentally imbalanced, damaged, addicted to anything or a momma's boy, nothing works.) First, be fun, relaxed and original. Keep your past a mystery as much as possible. Turn off your cell phone when with him. Be present, attentive and interested, even if he's a colossal bore - it's good practice for the work world, trust me. Be gracious, polite to everyone and feminine. Don't compete with him, even if you can run circles around him. Laugh. Eat. Don't drink (or not too much.) Have a life outside your relationship, and do what you love. Exude joy and enthusiasm for things. Let him make the plans, the calls, and resist-resist-resist pushing the relationship forward. Lean back, date other men, but don't be too obvious. He'll know you're attractive to other men. It's a primal thing. Be a little ungettable - but not hard to get in a negative way. Live an interesting life. He is much more insecure than you, so give him encouragement. Flirt, laugh, the occasional hand or elbow touch. Postpone sex for at least a month or two, maybe forever. Do not jump in the sack with him before you know he is crazy about you. That could take some time. You will spare yourself untold heartache by holding out.
For the men out there? Step up. Look at how your grandfather courted your grandmother. That's your model.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Highly informational
By Dee Jay
Good news, ladies! It's probably not your fault he didn't call you for that second date. Most of the stories relayed in this book indicate that, yep...it's him. Sure, there are a zillion things women do to turn men off - being rude, bitchy, whiny, over-sharing, etc, etc, etc. But when a guy doesn't want a second date with you because you drink Diet Dr. Pepper or you snuggled a cute puppy? That would be his problem and not yours.
Even if you did everything right - you were kind, enthusiastic but not overly so, made sparkling conversation about his favorite topic (him), kept it light and amusing - he still may not call you ever again because you ordered linguine on your first date and his ex (who cheated on him) liked linguine and it brought back a bad memory that made him dislike you by association.
While this book will definitely help you recognize the things you do that send men running in the other direction, what it really does is coaches you on how to get a second date out of...a guy that is a jerk and you probably don't want him anyway. But let's not discount that; it's much better to refuse him than be refused. Right? The author equates it to a job interview: you may not even want the job, but it's still nice to get an offer letter.
One of the reasons we give up on dating is because it's simply exhausting. You put forth all this effort to be charming and interesting, only to have the guy be a loser who's not worth it or get turned off because you mention you're adopted. The first date is fraught with perilous land mines. BUT!!! This book works in that, if you follow the advice and treat it like a game (you know, fun...like dating is supposed to be?), 9 times out of 10 you will indeed get him to ask you out again. Then it's your choice instead of his.
I realize this review probably comes across as negative, but nothing could be further from the truth (note the 5 stars). I found it to be a valuable resource and I learned much about dating from it, and so will you.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
it's okay
By Dottie
it has some good info and some silly info. i guess it depends on how much you want to get that man. I just want to learn what makes men tick and why they do what they do.
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